Share a Gasp

Last week was heavy, daunting, eerie. The smoke from the Canadian wildfires set a doomsday-ish tone, which seemed to seep into every facet of life. Sick and exhausted children, a feeling of claustrophobia, and the reappearance of KN95s quickly gave way to feelings of despair, anger, and sadness. That complex, contradictory, cliche “aim to focus on the positive for the kids while suppressing the stressful reality” state of being entered, and re-entered, my thoughts on an all-consuming basis.

The flowers in the farm needed to be watered since it hadn’t rained for weeks, and I figured the smoke would just accelerate the death of these already parched plants if there wasn’t immediate action. So I masked up, and began the hour-long process of irrigating the old-school way: Hose. Watering Cans. Pour. …Repeat.

As I often do while farming, I pressed “play” on the next We Can Do Hard Things podcast episode in my library, which happened to be titled, “How to Find DELIGHT Today (and Every Day)” featuring poet Ross Gay. My initial reactions were:

a) How did Glennon Doyle know that I needed an infusion of positivity?

b) I’m eager to listen to a professor who teaches at Indiana University (my alma mater).

c) I love the word delight, it’s just a happy word that literally means “great pleasure”.

…So, play on!

What struck me from the beginning of the episode is that a listener can actually hear the joy in Ross Gay’s voice. I can imagine he’s smiling throughout the entire discussion with a glint of a different life realm, an almost Matrix-like portal into absolute beauty. Simply, he’s completely high on Life. You see, Ross Gay has spent decades focused on the study of Joy, Gratitude, and…Delight. His 2019 collection of essays, The Book of Delights, is a year-long, daily journaling of events, moments, or observations which bring joy. The stories he writes are extended glimpses of what I call “Life Pauses”.

Here’s an example of a Life Pause to which you all probably can relate:

Two days after the initial smoke day, it drizzled. (Drizzle may actually be an overestimate here, but let’s stick with it.) We had recently moved our bunnies from the basement to the newly constructed rabbit yard, so I asked Solomon (my almost 4 year old) to check on them to see how they handled their first rain.

Me: “Solly, how are the bunnies doing?”

Sol [matter of factly, without emotion]: “Good, mom. They aren’t dead.”

Pause.

Welcome, Simplicity.

Though adorable, the story itself isn’t necessarily the Delight. Rather, the connection, the reminder, the experience, bundled together creates the joyful pause. Probably, just prior to Solomon’s accurate take on the bunnies’ well-being, twenty different “must-do’s” were scrambling through my brain, along with a bit of lingering depression from the smoke. The interaction was unexpected and caught me off guard - because of its Simplicity. It forced me to be present, to realize that the noise I had been processing was just noise. But those five seconds gave me a gift of laughter, of absolute, pure delight.

One of the stories that Ross Gay shares in his compilation takes place one evening when he and his partner are having friends over for dinner. During conversation, one of their children runs in, out of breath, and interrupts:

“Mom. Dad.” [Gasp]

“You have to see this.” [Gasp]

“Come outside. Now.” [Gasp]

“There is a RAINBOW.” [Gasp]

In that moment, the most important thing to that child isn’t the actual rainbow itself. No, it’s sharing the experience of the rainbow with the people he loves the most. As Gay recalls, “he wanted to share his gasping”.

What I realized after spending several hours listening to Ross Gay and his Gratitude is that looking to find joy, delight…wonder, awe - is a practice, an intention. It is a mindful shift in observing, processing, pausing. It is a perspective. Perhaps, it actually means being fully present - present and aware in a moment of Life taking place.

The concept of “Adsum” was recently introduced in the book, Rooted, written by Lyanda Lynn Haupt. Historically, this Latin word was used as a response during a monastic ritual of entering a particular order. Literally, it means “I am here”. Fully present. Adsum.

When was the last time you gasped in delight? What was your most recent Life Pause? Think of the collective power that could exist by slightly shifting our energies towards finding moments of Delight. Seek and you shall find. I invite you to journal moments of delight throughout the summer. Maybe it’s a quick note of a beautiful moment - a vibrant color you see on a walk, the sound of rain pitter-pattering on your porch. Or, maybe it’s a descriptive story of an experience that takes your breath away. Slow down, be present. Let’s just share a gasp every once in a while. What could be more important?

“Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side.” - Jon J Muth, The Three Questions